In My Life
by nherbie
Summary: NCIS is notified of Deeks death while undercover for the LAPD.
1. Chapter 1: Bad News

This is my second story and takes place in season 6 after Kensi and Deeks go all in. My first story was much better received than I could have ever hoped for. I am not so sure about this one. One word of warning, things are not always as they seem. Still don't own anything but the OCs.

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Chapter 1: Bad News

Henrietta Lange, Operation Manager of NCIS Office of Special Projects gently replaced the receiver in its cradle and folded her hands on her desk. In reality, she wanted to smash it into tiny little pieces. She has not been this angry in a very long time. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Little by little the anger turned to grief. She thought to herself "Oh my dear, I am so very sorry. I will miss you."

When she felt calmer, she pressed the ever present Bluetooth in her left ear. "Miss Jones?"

Nell Jones instantly replied "Yes, Hetty?"

"Can you and Mr. Beale please join me in the bullpen immediately?"

"On our way." replied Nell, curiosity in her voice.

Hetty turned to the safe in her office and opened it to pull out a banded group of envelopes. She gripped them tightly as she slowly made her way to the bullpen trying to formulate the words that would devastate her premier team. As she approached silently, she could hear Sam and Callen teasing Kensi, both about her missing Deeks and about her treatment of the LAPD Detective currently working with her in Deeks's place while her partner was on an undercover assignment for the police department.

"Kens, really? Cut the guy some slack, he's only been here a couple weeks." said Sam.

"Yeah, Kens, it takes a while to train a personal servant." teased Callen.

"Seriously? The guy has been here 3 weeks and still doesn't know how I like my coffee! It only took Deeks one day!" grumbled Kensi Blye. Hetty knows she and Deeks have become more than partners, more than friends and dreads her reaction to the news she is about to impart to this team most of all. She heard Ms. Jones and Mr. Beale coming down the stairs behind her.

"Mr. Callen, Mr. Hanna, Ms. Blye?" The agents turned quickly, as usual not having her heard her approach. How does she do that? Deeks calls their boss the tiny ninja and it seemed appropriate right now. The agents were still laughing at their earlier conversation but the laughter slowly died out as each of them took in the look on her face. Callen had a bad feeling about whatever Hetty was about to tell them, his stomach cramping. He knows Hetty better than all of them and can usually tell when she has something to say to them that they won't like. If it was a new case, they would have been called up to Ops instead of Nell and Eric coming down.

"I have just gotten off the phone with the LAPD" began Hetty when Nell and Eric had reached them.

Instantly Kensi interrupted her complaining, "PLEASE tell me they didn't extend his assignment again?"

Sam piped in "When are you going to offer him a full time agent position Hetty? We need to get him out of LAPD and here permanently!" Callen was silent. The team is still unaware that Hetty had offered Detective Deeks a permanent agent position several years ago. He had not said yes, but neither had he said no.

"Mr. Deeks will not be returning to NCIS" she began again, perhaps not the best way to start things as this started a new barrage of questions and complaints from all present.

"What?"

"Why?"

"Hetty, do something, they can't just stop him from coming back!"

"Mr. Deeks… was killed while on his recent assignment with the LAPD." Hetty baldly tells her agents. Silence and disbelief meet her words. Hetty looks at her team and sees the reactions she had expected. Sam was angry, Callen had turned his back to them, not sure how to deal with the emotions he was feeling, Eric had his arms around Nell who was crying, tears running down his own face and Kensi, well Kensi was still and silent.

Suddenly Kensi spoke up quietly "I need to see him, where is he Hetty?"

Hetty started to reply "Ms. Blye, you can't..."

Kensi interrupted, "I have to see him Hetty! I have to know it's true. I need to… I need to say good-bye!" her face a stiff mask, hiding her emotions.

"Kensi, my dear, you can't see him…."

"Is this some kind of LAPD bullshit Hetty? Are they worried about whatever ops they were running with Deeks? They can't keep me… they can't keep us away from him!" cried Kensi.

"Kensi!" Hetty said loudly trying to get through to her junior agent, "You can't see Mr. Deeks because, oh my dear, he died almost two weeks ago. He had left instructions with LAPD, as well as with me here, asking that, in the event of his death, he be cremated and his ashes scattered over the ocean. They honored that request last week. Kensi, he's gone. I am so sorry!" Kensi looked at her like she just can't comprehend what Hetty has told her. Then she stood up and slowly walked out of the bullpen. She walked down the hall into the ladies room, shut and locked the door and slid down the wall, her tears finally flowing now that she was alone.

Callen turned to face her and looked at Hetty with the kind of anger she herself had just experienced. "What is this bullshit, Hetty? Why would they wait almost two weeks to tell us our Liaison, our friend was dead? What kind of game is Bates playing?"

Hetty sighed and began to explain. "According to Shelly Pearson, the LAPD representative who called me, Mr. Deeks's assignment was as a homeless person and was completed quickly. He had come in for his debrief with Lt. Bates and then went back down to the area where he had been living. As long as he hadn't had to break his cover, he often went back and quietly gave away some of the props he had been using during his assignment. Blankets, extra clothes with a little money discreetly tucked into a pocket here and there. He was cleaning out his living area when another transient thought he was stealing and attacked him. He stabbed Mr. Deeks multiple times. He was pronounced dead at the scene. There was nothing they could do to save him. The person responsible has been arrested and is under lockdown in a psychiatric facility. Apparently Lt. Bates reacted badly. You know he had a lot of respect for our Mr. Deeks, more than even he was willing to admit. He took care of a few things, put in for vacation, asked someone to notify NCIS and left Los Angeles. They aren't exactly sure where he is at the moment, believe me, I asked. His request to notify our office was misplaced until today."

"It's still bullshit Hetty! Bates should have had the courtesy to call you himself immediately! Something isn't right here" said Sam.

"I'm sorry Mr. Hanna, I don't know what else I can tell you." said Hetty.

She looked down at the all but forgotten envelopes in her hand, each addressed to a member of the team in Deeks's handwriting. "He left each of us a letter, asking that I give them to you in the event of his death". She handed each of them the envelope addressed to them, giving Kensi's to Nell. "I know you and Kensi have become good friends Nell, can you please take her home and give her this when you feel it's appropriate? And, if you don't mind, could you stay with her tonight? I don't think it would be a good idea for her to be alone." Nell nodded an affirmative, looking at the envelopes in her hand with sadness.

"Now, I want all of you to leave whatever you are doing, go home and don't come in tomorrow. There are no pressing cases at the moment and we all need time to process this." The team slowly began packing up their belongings, getting ready to head home. Nell pulled out of Eric's arms and said she would go see to Kensi. Eric walked slowly back up to Ops with none of his normal buoyancy. This news has devastated them all. They all know that it happens, it's an everyday possibility when you do what they do, but it's never easy to lose a friend.


	2. Chapter 2: Hetty's Letter

Chapter 2: Hetty's Letter.

Hetty sat back down at her desk and carefully placed the envelope on her desk. She did not take her own advice and head home. Instead she stared at the envelope wondering what Mr. Deeks had to say to her. While she would never voice the full extent of her affection for the young man to the rest of the team, he hadn't been far off the mark when he used to joke that he was her favorite. He had brought lightness and air into the Mission. Before he had joined the team, they had all worked well together, but he had just clicked into place making the team so much better than the sum of its parts. Oh, there had been growing pains. Mr. Hanna calling him the temp and giving him a hard time about sitting at Dom's desk. Kensi's comment about him being the best the LAPD could do. Even then though, the attraction between the two of them had been immediately evident to everyone but them. The others had come around quickly with the exception of Mr. Hanna. It wasn't until the Sidarov incident that he had finally come to see Deeks as the exceptional team member he was. The result was that Sam and Deeks had become closer over the last months and the team was even better than before. Were they going to be able to move forward? This could cause the team to fracture and become ineffective. She would have to wait and see.

Once all her people had left the Mission, she finally reached for her letter opener and slit open the letter addressed to her.

Dearest Tiny Ninja Boss,

If you are reading this, I'm dead. Wow, that sounds harsh but I don't know how else to say it. Moving right along…

I want to thank you so much, Hetty, for bringing me into NCIS. You gave me the family I had always been looking for and never thought I would get. Granted, it's a dysfunctional talk show kind of family, but it's better than the family I was born into. In addition, you gave me the greatest gift anyone has ever, or could ever, give me. You gave me Kensi. I love her with all of my heart and she has finally come to terms with loving me back. Hard to believe she resisted all this awesomeness for so long, isn't it?

Whatever happened, I know it was not your fault, nor that of anyone else at NCIS. These things happen no matter how much care you take. It's a hazard of the job we do. And you did take good care of me, something else I had never had before. I know it was something that I didn't always handle with grace and, for that, I am sorry. If it was an LAPD op that went pear shaped, well, it probably would have happened much sooner if not for you. I wouldn't change a thing. Well, except for the whole dying part!

As for Kensi, I need all of you to be sure that she doesn't retreat back behind those walls she is so adept at building. I worked too hard to break them down and get her to let me in. Take care of all of them for me Hetty. I love them and I won't be there to cover their backs but I will be watching over them from wherever I am. And over you.

With all my heart,  
Deeks

Hetty put the letter down and sighed heavily. The loss of this young man she had so wanted for her team was something she would not readily get over. To lose an agent was never easy but to lose him to a random act of violence not directly related to their job, it was a lot to take in.


	3. Chapter 3: Sam's Letter

Chapter 3: Sam's Letter

Sam walked in his front door and called out to Michelle that he was home. His daughter raced out of the kitchen and slammed into him for her hug. He reached down and held onto her tightly, tears in his eyes. He looked up at Michelle as she too came out of the kitchen. Seeing the look on his face, she instantly knew something had happened and that it was bad. She shooed their daughter back into the kitchen to help set the table for dinner and looked at the man she loved with a question in her eyes. All Sam could do was shake his head and mouth "later" at her.

He got through dinner with his family, behaving almost normally. He helped his daughter with her homework, tucked her in and kissed her good night. He then headed downstairs to share the news with Michelle. This was going to devastate her. She had taken to Marty right away once she had met him and could never understand his prior concerns about Marty's character. In addition, they both owed him so much. His staying strong under torture at the hands of Sidarov's men, not giving up Michelle as a CIA agent had saved her life. Even after her cover was blown and Sidarov got his hands on her, it was Marty who climbed out of his hospital bed and backed Sam up as he raced to save his wife.

Once he realized how wrong he had been about Marty, he had started including him in events at his house. Barbeques on the weekend, parties…. He smiled when he thought about how quickly his daughter had taken to him, calling him Uncle Marty within minutes of meeting him for the first time. It had taken Callen a number of visits before she had become as comfortable with him as she was so instantly with Marty. He had seen the rapport Marty had with kids several times during the time they worked together but seeing him work his charm on his own daughter had amazed him. Even his son had gravitated to Marty when he was home from the academy. The smile slid off his face as he realized he would have to tell them that they would never see Uncle Marty again. He sat on the couch with the letter in his hand. He wanted to wait for Michelle to join him before he read it. He had a feeling he was going to need her strength.

She came downstairs after having given their daughter her own good night kiss and stopped at the bottom of the stairs. She watched him as he turned the envelope over and over in his hands. What the hell had happened? "Sam?" she said quietly. He didn't look up from what he held in his left hand, just reached out to her with his right. She went to him and put her hand in his. He pulled her down to the couch and sighed. "What happened Sam? You're scaring me."

Sam looked at her and said "Deeks is dead."

She felt the blood drain from her face and her heart break for the man she had come to love like a brother, for the man beside her who she loved more than life itself, for Kensi. "Oh my God, Kensi!" she gasped, "Will she be okay?"

"Nell took her home and is going to stay with her tonight." Sam replied softly. "As for how she'll be, that remains to be seen."

Michelle looked down at the envelope in her husband's hand and she had a good idea what it was but asked anyway. "What is that Sam?"

"Deeks left a letter for each of us to get upon his death. I wanted you to be with me when I opened it." Michelle squeezed his hand to let him know she was there. Sam ripped open the envelope and gently pulled out the enclosed letter. He stared at it for a moment before unfolding it.

Hey Super Secret Agent SEAL man!

So, it's finally happened. I'm hoping that I didn't let you or the team down. If I did, it wasn't for lack of training. I have learned so much from you and the rest of the team since I joined NCIS as Liaison. Things I would never have had the opportunity to learn at LAPD. You gave me the best possible chance of surviving what we do each day. I'm hoping I died bravely saving the world or someone's life. If not that, then at least I died saving a puppy? Please dear God, don't let me have gotten hit by a bus 'cause I was too busy watching Kensi's ass instead of where I was going!

I know we got off on the wrong foot at the beginning. I admit it hurt having you disparage me simply because I didn't serve in the military or dress the way you did. I respected you so much and so desperately wanted to see that same respect from you. If there was any silver lining from the whole "abducted and tortured" scenario it was that you finally saw ME. Not the hair, not the beard, not the clothes, but ME. I could have done without the whole torture thing, but it happened. There is nothing that can be changed about that. You finally let me into your life and it has been a joy. You have a wonderful family and I will miss them as much as I will miss you.

Michelle, you are a wonderful person, a great wife, mother and agent. If it wasn't for Kensi, your kids and the fact that Sam could have broken me in two without breaking a sweat, I would so have tried to steal you away from him! Take care of each other and my "niece and nephew". Let them know I loved them like family and that I hope I will always be in their hearts. Tell them not to be sad, we will see each other again.

Love,

"Uncle" Marty

Michelle leaned into Sam and let the tears fall down her face. Leave it to Deeks to leave them a letter that would make them laugh and cry at the same time. She knew their kids would miss him and that the man at her side would feel guilt over whatever had happened and she would have to help him work through it. "Tell me what happened to him Sam." She listened while he told her the whole story and felt anger rise up at the hurt that a simple random act of violence and the disrespectful aftermath had caused her family and friends.


	4. Chapter 4: Eric's Letter

Chapter 4: Eric's Letter

Eric didn't want to go home. He didn't want to open the letter Deeks had left for him. He wanted to turn back time and have it be two weeks ago when Deeks was alive. He wanted to bury himself in work that would allow him to forget what he had just learned, to let him deny it had happened. Unfortunately for him, none of these were options. He didn't have a time machine and there was no work to bury himself in, it was quiet. Where were the super villains when you needed them? God, did he really just wish some maniac would threaten the world just to give him something else to think about? Deeks would not have been happy with him.

He thought about the friend he had made in Deeks. He would miss their early morning surfs together. Deeks was the only one at NCIS that understood the allure of being out on the water riding a wave. Who was going to sneak Oreo's into Ops for him and Nell against Hetty's express orders that there be no food in the situation room? Who was going to sneak back after hours and play video games with him and Nell on the big plasma screen? He wondered if anyone else had figured out that Deeks was a lot smarter than he let on. Nell and he had quickly figured out that Deeks was the first one who understood the things the two technical analysts would start spouting during a case brief, even if he pretended not to.

He sighed and picked up his bag, putting the letter from Deeks into the outside pocket. There was nothing for him to occupy his mind here so he might as well go home. He left Ops slowly.

Once he reached home, he did everything he could to ignore the bag sitting on the chair where he left it, but finally resigned himself to reading the letter, the last thing he would ever receive from his friend.

Hey Wonder Twin!

I'm sorry we won't get to surf together again. I want you to know that it was something that I looked forward to and enjoyed each time. I had surfed alone for so long; it was nice to have someone to share that deep love of the ocean with.

Now I want you to listen to me. Stop wasting time and tell Nell how you feel about her. I know you're head over heels in love with the munchkin and I am pretty sure she feels the same about you. Take a good look at me and Kensi. We wasted so much time dancing around each other, denying how we felt. We were finally heading towards that foregone conclusion when Sidarov happened. It pulled us apart as I tried to deal with everything that had happened to me. I shut her out. I was finally getting back to normal and we had started talking about our feelings when she was shipped out to Afghanistan. We both know what happened there and how long it took for her to get back to herself. Think how much time we lost because we were too afraid to talk about the elephant in the room for so long. Would it have made our recovery from our respective traumas easier? I don't know. It might have torn us apart forever but we'll never know. I have so many regrets for not telling her sooner. Don't let that happen to you.

If she turns you down, it will hurt, but is it better to never take the chance and miss out on one of the best things that could ever happen to you? Learn from my mistakes. Call her now, tell her how you feel and let the chips fall where they may. If you don't, I promise to haunt you until you do!

Stay frosty my friend!

Deeks

Eric put the letter down, stunned that he hadn't hid his feelings for his co-worker and partner in crime better. Did everyone know or was it just Deeks's special insight due to his situation with Kensi? Did he dare let Nell know how he felt or was he going to forever be afraid of her rejecting him and crushing his heart?

He reached for his phone and pulled up his contact list. He scrolled and found Nell's number. Was tonight the right time? Would she wonder if it was just a reaction to losing Deeks? He knew she was at Kensi's taking care of her. Would now be inappropriate? If he didn't do it now, with Deeks's words fresh in his mind, would he find the courage later? He hit dial without making a conscious decision.

He heard the ringing on the other end and felt his heart beat like it was going to jump out of his chest. "Eric?"


	5. Chapter 5: Nell's Letter

I made a slight change in the letter from Deeks to Nell based on a guest reviewers awesome suggestion. I wish I had a screen name to send a thank you to! The change has to do with nicknames.

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Chapter 5: Nell's Letter

Nell stood outside the ladies room and knocked. She knew the door was locked and that Kensi was inside trying to keep her emotions hidden from the rest of the team. She put her ear to the door, she could hear the sobs and it broke her heart even more. She tried the door again, still locked and still no response from inside. I'm going to have to pick the lock she thought. Who would have thought that little Nell Jones, geek extraordinaire, would even be able to THINK of doing such a thing let alone knowing she had an excellent chance of success? Her life had certainly taken a turn when she joined NCIS. Today she wasn't sure she was happy with said turn. She turned away from the door intending to go get her tools from her bag when she heard the lock turn. She opened the door and slipped inside.

"Kens?" she whispered, looking at her friend.

"Nell, can you take me home?" Kensi asked in a choked voice. She turned and looked at Nell, her eyes swollen from crying. She just wanted out of the Mission and away from everyone who was going to be looking at her with pity. Nell nodded and held out her arms. Kensi walked into them shuddering. "God, I am going to miss him so much!" It was the last thing she said until they walked into Kensi's apartment. Nell had debated taking her home to her place but figured Kensi would be more comforted by her own familiar surroundings. She questioned that decision when she opened the door and they walked in. Deeks's LAPD sweatshirt was thrown carelessly over the back of the couch. It was the first thing Kensi saw when she walked in and she had slowly picked it up and buried her face in it, breathing deeply and said "Marty."

Nell helped her into the bedroom and pushed her down onto the bed. She took off Kensi's shoes and figured she'd just let her sleep in her clothes for tonight. It was like working with a life sized doll, there was no conscious action or reaction on Kensi's part and Nell was starting to get a little scared. Was it shock? Please let it just be shock! She positioned Kensi on the bed with her head on the pillow and pulled a throw up over her. She brushed the hair back from her forehead. Kensi just stared up at the ceiling, clutching the sweatshirt to her heart. "Kens, do you want anything?" No answer. "I'll be right outside if you need me. Try to get some sleep." Nell turned out the light and left the bedroom, leaving the door open a bit so that she could hear if Kensi needed her.

She picked up the go bag she had brought in from her car and dropped on the couch when they had first come in. She went into the bathroom and changed into more comfortable clothes. It was going to be a long night.

Sitting on Kensi's couch, Nell reached into her messenger bag and pulled out the two letters from Deeks. She placed the one for Kensi on the coffee table and looked at the one addressed to her. She wondered if any of the others had letters like this, ready to go in the event of their death. She knew she didn't. She had never even thought of doing so but then, her job wasn't as dangerous as the agents. She was training to become an agent and had been out in the field a couple times but had never thought about what she would want her fellow agents, family and friends to know if she were to die. It was something to think about, something she didn't want to think about.

She opened the envelope and took a deep breath before opening the enclosed letter.

Dearest Velma,

Don't be sad, I was doing something I loved, something that I felt was important and, while it has cost me my life, I would not change a thing. I will, however, miss your face and your oh so scary intelligence. Between you and Eric, you saved all our lives so many times. I can never thank you enough for that. Don't let whatever happened to me cause you to rethink your desire to become an agent without first giving it a lot of thought. You will be a great agent! You have good instincts and your smarts will go a long way to get you through any ops.

Now, for a confession. I have just meddled in your life. I'm hoping you'll be getting a call from Eric shortly. If I have read the situation correctly, it will be a call that will make you very happy. If I was wrong, please be gentle with him. He is a great guy and deserves every consideration.

Now, for a request. Be there for Kensi. I know you have become one of her closest friends and, of all her friends, will be the one to understand what she is going through. You will be the only one she can discuss the situation with as the rest of her friends don't have the clearance to know what she does each day. Don't let her shut herself away. She has so much love in her. Encourage her to find someone else to love. Just…not right away…or someone better looking than me (of course that would be next to impossible!).

Be happy Pixie!

Shaggy

Nell folded the letter up and placed it back in the envelope as the tears ran down her face. She wondered how he knew her so well, she had already been thinking being an agent wasn't all it was cracked up to be and that maybe she wasn't really cut out for it. His words gave her pause; she would wait until she was in a better place before making such a life altering decision. She wondered what he meant by her expecting a call from Eric. She thought about the man she spent so much of each day with. She had tried so many times to let him know her feelings for him, to get a read on how he felt about her in return but just couldn't pin him down. What had Deeks done?

Her phone rang and her heart stopped. She pulled it out of her bag and saw that it was, indeed, Eric. Ok, this was freaky.

"Eric?" she said.

"Nell?" Eric replied in a bit of a squeak. There was a long pause.

"Eric, are you still there?"

"Um, yeah, I'm here. How are you doing? How's Kensi?" Nell had a feeling that that wasn't at all what Eric had been about to say.

"I'm fine. Kensi's a little scary. She has one of Deeks's sweatshirts and won't let go of it. She won't talk to me, barely reacts to me being here at all!" she said.

"I'm sure it's just shock and she'll come out of it shortly. They loved each other so much; it must be like losing a part of yourself." Eric said quietly. Nell didn't know how to respond. There was another long pause.

"Did you… did you read Deeks's letter?" Eric finally asked.

"Yes, I did. I never realized how well he knew me. I mean, I know we were friends, but not like me and Kensi or Sam and Callen." she replied.

"So you think he knew you pretty well?" Eric asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, I really do." she said.

"Ok, then, I have something I need to tell you." he said. "Please just let me get this out."

"OK" she replied.

"Nell, I love you and I have for a long time. If you feel anything for me in return, I want to act on it. I don't want to wait until I'm old and wonder what I missed out on." Eric said in a rush.

Nell's heart stopped again and then swelled with joy. "I love you too" she whispered. There was a whoosh on the other end of the line, as she heard Eric release the breath he had been holding.

For a moment she felt so happy and then reality intruded. "How can we be happy right now knowing that Deeks is gone and what Kensi is going through?" she whispered to him.

"It's what Deeks wanted and you know Kensi will be happy for us as well. Maybe we can wait to tell her until she's had a chance to come to terms with this." Eric replied. "Can I come over and be there for the two of you? I don't really want to be alone and I so desperately want to hold you right now." he asked.

"Oh God, yes, please! How quickly can you get here?" she replied.

"I'm out the door right now. I should be there in about ten to fifteen minutes. I love you." he said and hung up before she had a chance to reply that she loved him too.

She sat and looked at her phone and then at the letter sitting in her lap. Her feelings warred within her. She knew this was what Deeks had meant about meddling in her life and she knew he had hoped Eric would act on his suggestion right away. She just wasn't sure about Kensi. How would she react to Eric and her becoming a couple right on the heels of Deeks's death? She hoped she would understand and be happy for them. One thing for sure, they were both going to be at Kensi's side for as long as it took. She put the envelope up to her lips and kissed it. "Thank you Shaggy, I will miss you forever. Wherever you are, I hope you know that you gave us the kick in the ass that we needed. No matter how things work out between Eric and me, I am so grateful to you. I wish you were here for me to tell you."


	6. Chapter 6: Callen's Letter

Chapter 6: Callen's Letter

He opened the door to his house and walked in. It was so quiet and his steps echoed weirdly. He had never noticed until tonight how the lack of furniture in the house made every sound echo around the place. He thought back to a night a few weeks back when he had asked Deeks to come over for a beer and to talk over an op that had just finished up. He had come to enjoy the post op discussions he had with the LAPD detective and that was the first time he had invited the detective to his home for it. He and Sam were always on the same page when it came to how to handle a situation but Deeks had such a different perspective. He had come to realize that it was not wrong, just different and that discussing it later could result in a new way of looking at things that were part him/Sam and part Deeks.

Deeks had come into the house with a bag over his shoulder. He had paused in middle of the living room and swung the bag around. When he opened it Callen had realized it was one of those fold up chairs in a bag that people took camping or to the beach. He had asked him if Sam had told him he had no chairs to sit on. Deeks had looked at him and said no, he had just figured he'd need something to park his ass in if he didn't want to sit on the floor. They had shared a laugh and more than a few beers that night.

Callen sighed and thought about the man, the friend they had found out they had lost today. He had lost many friends over the years; it was an unfortunate side effect of their line of work. Somehow the loss of the LAPD detective felt different. He wasn't sure if it was how Deeks had died, so stupid and random, not even a result of an actual assignment. Or, if it was just the fact that Deeks managed to get under everyone's skin. To get under and make himself right at home. He knew what the detective's childhood had been like from things that Deeks had let slip over the years. Callen had always been amazed at the kind of man Deeks had become in spite of this. His own childhood had been awful and it had made him afraid to show any emotion, had made him afraid to put down roots for fear they would be torn away but it was not as bad as Deeks's. The only reason he even owned his house was because Hetty had forced him into it. Presented it to him tied up with a nice little bow, everything complete except for his signature.

He sat on the floor and opened his bag, pulling out the letter from Deeks. He hadn't had dinner yet but just wasn't hungry. He was feeling reluctant to read the letter. What could Deeks have to say to him? He wasn't sure how he felt about hearing from the detective posthumously. He, himself, had never even thought about leaving letters for those he might leave behind. He figured when he was dead, he was dead and that was it.

Well, better to get it over with, like pulling off a band aid. He opened the envelope and pulled out his letter. He wondered what the letters to the others had had to say and how each of them was handling it.

Hey G-Man!

Ha, always wanted to say that but didn't want to get punched out. Figure I can get away with it now!

In all seriousness, you have become like a brother to me Callen. Of course, I am the handsomer, more charming younger brother that all the ladies fall for! Ok, glad I am out of your reach for that one as well.

I know that whatever happened to me to cause you to receive this letter, you did the best for me and for our team. You are a great team leader and have only gotten better over the last few years I have been privileged to work with you. We may not always have seen eye to eye but you were willing to see or at least talk about my view of things. I know you always had my back no matter what. I hope you know that I always had yours.

I also know that you are aware that Hetty had offered me a permanent agent position with NCIS and that I hadn't said yes. Yet. It wasn't that I didn't want to become an agent or belong to your team as something more than the Liaison Officer. It was just that being a cop was what I felt I was. Accepting the position and leaving the LAPD would have felt like I was leaving something undone. That being said, in the last few months, I have been considering it more and more. The LAPD has become less and less the place I want to be. Whenever something significant happens that changes what might be in these letters, I get them back from Hetty and redo them. So, that means I haven't made the final leap yet but I feel it coming. Know that being on your team as an official agent would have been a great honor for me. I hope it might have been something you would have been happy about as well.

I'm going to go with the fact that you, like Hetty, always seem to know everything no matter how hard we try to hide it from you. So, you know about Kensi and me. I love her Callen. More than I thought I could ever love anyone or anything. I would die for her. Oh lord, I hope that isn't what happened. It if was, please don't tell her that I said that, she is going to feel bad enough as it is. I have a favor to ask. I know how hard it is for you to deal with emotions. I know our respective childhood experiences have forged the men we became. Please don't let Kensi shut down. Even if you can't help her with those emotions encourage, no, force her as her team lead, to talk to someone. Nell, Nate, Hetty, her mom, anyone. I can't bear the thought that she might spend the rest of her life alone, mourning what we had. She deserves more than that.

Stay safe and keep the rest of them safe for me!

Deeks

Callen sighed deeply and looked out the window without really seeing what was outside. He really had felt the younger man becoming like a brother to him and would have been pleased to have him accept the NCIS appointment and become a permanent member of his team. If he had only made that decision sooner, would he be alive today? He wouldn't have been on that stupid assignment. Getting killed by some random wacko with no back up. No one with him at the end. He wasn't one for tears but he felt his heart tighten in his chest. He would miss Deeks, things just wouldn't be the same without him and he wasn't sure the team could withstand this loss.


	7. Chapter 7: The Reports of My Death

Chapter 7: The reports of my death…

Hetty sat at her desk the next day and stared at the empty bullpen. It was so quiet in here without her premier team running things by each other, laughing and teasing each other when there was no case for them to be serious about, blowing off steam. She looked at the phone on her desk and steeled herself for the upcoming phone call. She was damned if she was going to be put off by the LAPD. She would know who was responsible for letting the ball drop on notifying her agency of Mr. Deeks's demise. She and his team had been cheated out of the chance to say good bye to the young man and show their final respects to one of their own. Someone was going to pay.

She dialed the LAPD number she knew by heart. Expecting it to either go to voice mail or be picked up by Lt. Bates's admin she was stunned when she heard the man answer the phone himself. He was supposedly out of town on his extended vacation. Had he returned and still not reached out to her? Her blood began to boil.

"Bates" said Lt. Roger Bates into the receiver. He knew who was on the other end, he had caller id but he was going to make her announce herself. He was surprised at the silence on the other end. What the hell?

"Ms. Lange, I know it's you. Why are you calling?" Bates asked. He stiffened as he realized why she might be calling and then not able to say anything. "Have you gone and let something happen to my detective?" he yelled into the phone. He heard a gasp and then the voice of Hetty Lange, the bane of his existence.

"We have a problem Lt. Bates. Do you remember where the boat shed is?" she asked.

"I do but I want to know now what's going on! Is Deeks ok?" he responded.

"Please, just get here as soon as you can." was the response.

"Fine, I'm on my way but you better have a good explanation when I get there." he said. He hung up the phone and stared at the receiver. In all the time he had been dealing with her since she had stolen his best undercover detective, he had never heard that tone in her voice. The inimitable Hetty Lange was shaken.

He packed up what he thought he might need and bolted out the door. He stopped by his admins desk and said "Laura, can you cancel any appointments I have for the rest of the day? I have an emergency and don't know when I'll be back. I'll be available by cell, emergencies only."

"Sure thing Lt." replied Laura Adams and she watched him race out of the office. If he had turned back he would have been puzzled by the odd expression on her face. It was…off.

While Bates was racing out of his office, heading her way, Hetty began to gather her team. The first call was to Mr. Callen, requesting that he contact Mr. Hanna and the two of them meet her and Lt. Bates at the boat shed. He started to express his anger at Bates when she interrupted him to let him in on the fact that Lt. Bates had no idea that Mr. Deeks was supposedly dead. They needed to come together and figure out what the hell was going on. Her next call was to Nell asking her to contact Eric to come in and then to come in herself and bring Kensi with her. As she explained the situation, Nell expressed concern about telling Kensi Deeks might not be dead only to find out he actually was. Hetty assured her it was a risk worth taking.

Hetty was the first one to arrive at the boat shed as she was already in the office. Lt. Bates was next and was yelling even as he stormed through the door "What the hell is going on? Where's Deeks?"

"We are not sure Lt. Let's wait until the whole team is here before discussing the particulars. No sense in repeating everything over and over" replied Hetty.

Next in were Callen and Sam. As with Bates, questions and accusations were flying the moment they walked through the door, but they met with the same response from Hetty. Wait for the rest of the team.

Nell, Eric and Kensi were the last to arrive. Rousing Kensi from her stupor had been more difficult than Nell had thought it would be. She was so sure that telling Kensi that Deeks might still be alive would have immediately broken through to her. It had actually taken several attempts and she still didn't look like she was allowing herself to believe it could be true.

"Now that we are all here, let's discuss the situation at hand." began Hetty. Everyone began talking at once, each voice striving to be heard over the others. "Silence!" shouted Hetty. Instantly the room was quiet as they all stared at her in shock. "We will be no good to Mr. Deeks yelling at each other and making accusations" she stated more quietly.

"Yes Hetty" came from everyone in the room, including, to his own surprise, Roger Bates.

"Very well then, let's start at the beginning. Yesterday I received a call from a Shelly Pearson at the LAPD in reference to the supposed demise of our Mr. Deeks" Hetty started.

Lt. Bates jumped in "I've never heard of a Shelly Pearson at the LAPD. Doesn't mean she doesn't work there, I don't know everyone. I just don't know why someone I don't even know would be calling NCIS with this kind of news about one of my men."

"Lt. Bates, can you contact someone at LAPD who can quickly find out where Shelly Pearson is employed?" asked Hetty. Bates yanked his cell phone out of his pocket and immediately dialed. He walked over to the side of the room so as not to interfere with the rest of the team.

"Eric, in the meantime, can you please pull up my office phone records from yesterday around 11:30 AM?" asked Hetty. "There should be a call from an LAPD extension around that time. Please find out exactly who that extension belongs to."

"On it!" responded Eric, eager to start helping find out what had happened to his friend. His fingers flew over his tablet as he accessed the records while everyone else looked on. The only sounds were his typing and the one sided conversation Bates was having. "Got it!" he yelled. "The extension that contacted you from LAPD yesterday belongs to one Sgt. Charles Conroy."

Having just hung up from the LAPD, Bates jumped in "That's impossible! Charlie retired over 3 months ago. His office is empty, although the phone is still active. All incoming calls are forwarded to the central switchboard to be routed to whoever took over any active cases he was working on. Also, according to HR, there is no such person as Shelly Pearson working anywhere for us."

"Well, that certainly sounds like the reports of Mr. Deeks death have been greatly exaggerated." stated Hetty. She looked around at her team and the Lt. They all appeared stunned.

It was Kensi who broke the silence "Why Hetty? Why would someone do this?"

"My dear, we are bloody well going to find out" was Hetty's response.

"Can you tell me everything about the call Miss. Lange?" asked Bates in the calmest voice he had used since receiving the call from the diminutive operations manager who scared the hell of him. As Hetty relayed the call verbatim, he could feel the blood drain from his face. "He's been missing about two weeks then. His assignment was simple and over with quickly. We had the debrief as the call stated but there was no attack that I'm aware of. As far as I knew, he returned to NCIS the next day and has been here ever since then. How could you possibly think I would not notify you immediately if something had happened to him? I am very well aware of how fond you all are of Marty! I would never have passed this off to someone else!" his voice rising with each word. Hetty quickly apologized, explaining that the supposed loss of Mr. Deeks had overshadowed logical thinking.

Listening to Lt. Bates and Hetty talk, Callen realized that whoever was behind this had detailed insight into how the LAPD and NCIS worked through their Liaison Officer. "It has to be someone within either LAPD or NCIS" he stated "There are too many accurate details that an outsider couldn't know. Based on the fact that the call came from within LAPD, my bet is on someone there. They had to know that each agency would think he was with the other."

"That is an accurate assumption, Mr. Callen, now the questions that need to be answered are who, why and where the hell is Mr. Deeks?" responded Hetty.


	8. Chapter 8: Home Sweet Home?

Okay, so this is the original direction I was planning on for this story but then I started having second thoughts. It's out there and makes me worry about my mental health. I don't have a beta but ran it by my better half who actually liked the idea. So, here it is. Blame him! If everyone hates it, I would be open to suggestions on how to move forward instead.

FYI – for those that asked, there will be a "Kensi's Letter" chapter!

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Chapter 8: Home Sweet Home?

Approximately two weeks earlier.

Deeks rolled over and groaned. His head hurt and his mouth tasted like crap. He opened his eyes and fought down instant panic. There was no difference between having his eyes closed or open. Was he blind? He reached up and felt around his head, nope, no bandages, no lumps. He listened closely and heard nothing. Absolute silence, no heart monitors, no beeping. Okay then, not in a hospital. He slowly sat up and immediately felt nauseous. What the hell had happened to him? The last thing he remembered was getting out of his car at his apartment after wrapping up the debrief with Bates on his latest assignment. He had been looking forward to a long hot shower and then calling Kensi to see if he could bribe her to bring home something from Yummy Yummy Heart Attack. He wondered how long he had been here.

He felt around him and realized he was lying on a bed. He slowly moved his legs over to the edge and put his feet on the floor. Don't panic, don't panic; let's see if we can figure out what is going on first, then you can panic. He felt around the edge of the bed and his hand smacked into what seemed to be a night stand. "Ow" he yelped. Feeling around on the table, his hand encountered what felt like a lamp. He moved up the base, found the switch and flicked it on. The light was blinding. As his eyes adjusted to it, the random thought crossed his mind, "I think I have this same lamp." Once fully adjusted to the light he turned to look around at the room he was in and felt his jaw drop. "Oh Marty, Marty, Marty, what the hell have you fallen into this time?" he asked himself. The room was an exact replica of his bedroom, complete with curtains on the wall where there should be a window but wasn't.

He stood up and swayed. "I must have been drugged" he thought "but why? Who?" Once he felt steadier on his feet he went to the door. He knew it would be locked, but hey, you never know. Sure enough, it was locked. He looked at the door and wished he had his lock pick tools. He would have to see if he could find anything else to use. He was sure any one of his teammates would be able to open the lock with a pillow case, but he wasn't them. He giggled to himself at that thought and then realized he was a little hysterical and not thinking clearly. He turned back to the room and decided to search it from top to bottom. He needed to see if he could find anything that could help him to get out of here or something that could tell him who had taken him.

He started with the dresser, opening the top drawer. He slammed it shut immediately. He was now totally creeped out. The clothes in the drawer were exact replicas of his. He took a deep breath and opened it again, knowing he had to search the whole room. In each drawer were clothes that looked like his, even placed where they would be at home. "Are these replicas" he thought "or did someone take my stuff from my apartment and bring them here? Why would anyone do this? This is just too weird!" He worked his way around the room, opening a door that looked just like his closet door at home. Sure enough, it was a closet filled with his (?) things. He searched it but, once again, found nothing of use. He moved on to the other door in the room which turned out to lead to a bathroom. His own bathroom was not off his bedroom like this but it was the only thing that was different. The interior of the bathroom, like the bedroom, was his.

He finally finished searching both rooms and had found nothing. Now what? Sit and wait? He would go crazy, if he wasn't already! Just then he heard the lock snick and the door started to open. He grabbed for the lamp, figuring he could use it as a weapon and was stunned when it wouldn't move. It was glued or bolted to the night stand. He stood there, waiting to see who would walk through and was shocked when he instantly recognized his Lieutenant's Administrative Assistant. "Laura? What the hell is going on?" he asked her, totally confused. She relocked the door behind her, pocketing the key.

"Marty darling, you're finally awake! I was getting worried when you were out for so long. I may have used a bit more of the drug than I should have." she replied, smiling at him like everything was fine, that he wasn't locked in a room that he had no memory of getting to, a room that looked like his place. That she hadn't just admitted to drugging him. Marty then registered the endearment she had used.

"Why me?" he thought "Why do I always attract the crazies?" He thought back to his breakup with Sylvia and the insane things she had done afterwards that had led to him taking a restraining order out against her. Even Kensi, as much as he loved her, was a bit crazy at times. "Why am I here Laura? What is this place? Why the hell does it look just like my apartment?"

"This is your new home, Marty! I wanted you to feel comfortable here. We are going to be so happy together my love." Laura said as she moved closer to him. She reached out and pushed a lock of hair off his forehead.

He used her movement to swing her around and get her in a headlock. "I don't want to hurt you Laura, but I WILL if you don't cooperate! I want out of here NOW so give me the key." He jumped as he felt something stab into his leg, looking down he saw a syringe sticking out of his thigh. His vision started to grey and he swayed on his feet, letting Laura go.

"You're a bad boy, Marty, but I'll forgive you this time. You're going to sleep for a while now. We'll discuss an attitude adjustment later." She pushed him back to the bed and he fell across it, his limbs like lead. She picked up his legs and swung them up onto the bed. She leaned down and kissed his forehead, his nose and then pressed her lips against his. That was the last thing he remembered before the darkness claimed him.


	9. Chapter 9: Back to the Present

Chapter 9: Back to the Present

Present Day:

Hetty looked at the people gathered around her and asked "How is it that he has been missing for almost two weeks and none of us knew it? He could be anywhere by now. I can't believe we let him slip through the cracks like this. When we find him, there will be new protocols put into place so that each agency knows exactly where he is at all times!" There was no response as no one had any answers to her questions, but they all took note of the fact that she said when, not if. They hoped she was right, as she usually was.

She looked over at Bates "Exactly what date and time did you meet with him for the debrief Lieutenant?" Bates gave her the date and an approximate time. "Eric, Nell, go back to Ops and start searching for his car. Start with traffic cams at the precinct around that time and see if you can find him. It's the last place we know he was for sure. If we can track his movements from there, maybe we'll get lucky and see who took him. The rest of you, go over to his apartment and see if you can find anything there that would give us some clue as to what the hell is going on."

She turned to Bates, "Can you go back to the precinct and see who had access to Sgt. Conroy's office and see if anyone remembers a woman placing a call from there?" Bates nodded and was about to head out the door when Callen spoke up.

"Why now? Why did she call after two weeks? If she hadn't, who knows how much longer we would have been in the dark about where Deeks really is. What's her angle?"

Bates offered "I was about to call Marty back in, we needed him to go back undercover at the same place. Some of the Intel he gathered didn't pan out and we were hoping he could just slide back in. Maybe his cover was blown and whoever has him thought they could throw us off by claiming he was dead and kill the op? "

"It's possible but that doesn't seem likely. Plus, in that case wouldn't she have called you and claimed he died on an NCIS case?" said Callen "Who else knew you were going to bring Deeks back in?"

"Unfortunately, a lot of people knew. Everyone on the undercover teams, our admins, and my boss." replied Bates.

"Do you really think this case would be reason enough to abduct him Bates?" asked Sam.

"No, I really don't see how it could be connected. These guys are just locals, not a major drug ring and they aren't exactly Mensa candidates." Bates replied. "I'm really just grasping at straws here. I'm worried about that boy." he added softly.

"We don't know if she is acting alone or with someone else. We don't know exactly when he was taken or why. At this point we have nothing but a missing detective and a whole lot of questions. What we do know is that she, or they, were smart enough to steal one of our own, right from under us." Callen said in frustration and turned to his team. "Let's head over to Deeks's place and see if we can find something, anything." Everyone in the room scattered to their respective tasks. They all wanted to find something that could clue them in to what had happened to their friend and colleague and maybe lead to getting him back.

When Callen, Sam and Kensi got to his place, they immediately noticed that the detective's car was parked in its usual spot. Sam tried the door and found it unlocked. Deeks never left his car unlocked so, whatever had happened, it had most likely been just as he got home or as he was about to leave again. At least it meant he had made it back there before he was taken so it gave them a starting place. They searched it but found nothing useful. They headed up the stairs to his apartment and Kensi used her key to let them in. Neither of them said anything about her having it; they both knew that the two of them had progressed well beyond the partners and best friends stage. They also didn't comment on the fact that some of what were obviously her clothes were folded neatly at the end of his couch. She blushed when she noticed them looking but didn't make any effort to explain their presence.

"Kens, why don't you to start in the bedroom? We'll start in the living room." said Callen, figuring if the two of them were that involved, it would be less of an invasion of privacy and she would be more likely to notice something out of place.

Sam and Callen started in the living room while she headed into the bedroom. "I feel weird, G. It's like we're sneaking around behind his back. It seems wrong to be going through his stuff without him here." Sam muttered.

"I know, but if it helps us find him, he won't mind." was the reply. The agents swiftly and methodically completed their search of the room and then started on the kitchen. Once done they went back into the living room to meet up with Kensi. None of them had found anything out of the ordinary. Kensi was disappointed and on edge. She desperately needed to do something, anything but couldn't figure out what.

As they left the apartment, Callen called Eric and filled him in on the fact that Deeks's car was there, to let him know to start looking for video from that area if he couldn't pick him up at the precinct. Kensi had a sudden thought. "Monty!" she said. "Marty would check in immediately with his neighbor who was keeping him. Maybe she heard or saw something!"

She ran downstairs and knocked on the door of Mary Hudson, the older lady Marty paid to watch Monty whenever he was away on assignment. She heard Monty bark and then Mary opened the door. "Kensi dear, how nice to see you! Is Marty back?"

"I'm not sure Mary, he was supposed to be back today but he hasn't called me and he's not in the apartment. Have you seen or heard anything?" Kensi replied. Mary shook her head no and Kensi deflated. She thanked the woman and told her she was sure Marty had just had to extend his assignment and would be updating Kensi shortly. She apologized for bothering her and walked away.

She met up with Callen and Sam at the bottom of the stairs, letting them know the neighbor was of no help. Three very angry and frustrated Federal Agents piled into Callen's car and headed back to the Mission, hoping either Eric or Nell would have better news.

Once they arrived back, they headed straight up to Ops. Eric was working away on his computer and Nell was standing in front of the big screen with Hetty who turned when the three of them entered. "Well, we've had some progress; Eric was able to pick him up leaving the precinct. He's in the process of following Mr. Deeks back to his apartment. He tried to locate him through the GPS on his phone but it's turned off."

"I found his phone, along with his badge and gun, stashed in his safe at the apartment Hetty. Just like he always does when he goes undercover." Kensi told her. Hetty turned back to the flashing pictures on the screen. They watched as the traffic cam video captured Deeks as he arrived home and pulled into his space. Watched as he got out of the car and shut the door then looked out to the street where a silver Honda Civic had just pulled up. He walked over and leaned in through the passenger side window, saying something to the driver. Straightening up, he opened the door and got in. They couldn't see the driver clearly, couldn't even tell if it was male or female, but it looked like whoever it was, was holding a map. A few moments later they drove away together.

"What the hell?' exploded Callen. "He knew the driver? He went willingly? If this is some kind of twisted prank, he is going to regret this for the rest of his life!"

Eric zoomed in on the back of the Civic as it drove away. "I don't think he knew that was going to happen, Callen. There are no plates on the car. Plus, I caught this from the next intersection." Eric pointed up at the screen as the silver Civic drove through, Deeks visible leaning up against the passenger window appearing to be asleep, unconscious or dead.

"Can you track where the Civic went from there, Eric?' Kensi asked hopefully.

"I was able to track them to the 405 but lost them when the car exited at this off ramp in Santa Monica. It disappears when it turns off onto some more rural roads where there are no traffic cams. I haven't found any trace of it through any other video surveillance." he replied.

"Well, we have more than we had when we started, Mr. Beale. Ideas anyone?" asked Hetty.

Nell piped up "We're pretty sure that whoever took him works at LAPD and fairly closely with the undercover division. I doubt that the car was stolen, otherwise, why bother removing the plates? Eric, let's run a cross check of all LAPD employees and owners of silver Honda Civics!"

"Um, it's going to mean I have to hack into the LAPD database." Eric said.

"Your point, Mr. Beale?" was Hetty's response. He nodded, turned back to his computer and started typing away, accessing both the DMV and LAPD while the rest of the team watched him anxiously.

"Got three matches! Two are male and only this one belongs to a woman." said Eric triumphantly. "Oh wow, check this out! She works at LAPD as an Administrative Assistant and her boss is Lt. Bates." Eric pulled up her driver's license picture and put it on the big screen. "Meet Laura Adams, voted most likely to be our abductor!"


	10. Chapter 10: Recovered Memories

Okay, still going forward with this plot line. Thoughts? Have I gone completely around the bend? Has the story gone completely off the rails?

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Chapter 10: Recovered Memories

Marty stared up at the ceiling and tried to dredge up any memory of what had led to him being here in this bizarre locked room. He had once again come out of his drug induced sleep alone. He had tried to sit up only to realize that this time his hands were handcuffed to the headboard of the bed. "This just keeps getting better and better." he thought in disgust. He thought about Laura Adams and when he first met her back when she had started working for Bates about a year and a half ago.

He had thought she was pretty in a washed out kind of way, blonde and pale. His preference was definitely brunettes, as Ray had told Kensi, he was a sucker for them. Still, he had automatically flirted with her, although it had been halfhearted at best. At that point his feelings for his partner had already dulled his interest in other women. He had noted the spark of interest in her eyes and had immediately withdrawn. Each time he saw her after that he had been careful to be nice but distant, not wanting her to think he was attracted to her. "What could I possibly have done to lead her to believe that we are in a relationship?" he wondered in confusion. "I just don't get it." He tried to remember each time he had seen her after that first meeting. It was only when he had come in to meet with Bates; he never had any other interaction with her outside that. He could remember right up until the last time and was hoping that he could trigger the memories he so desperately wanted. Each meeting was fairly clear but everything after getting home was still a blank.

He moved on the bed, realizing he had another problem now. His bladder was complaining loud and clear. He hoped she would come back soon and let him up to use the bathroom. He tried to distract himself by envisioning his team rescuing him. He had no doubts that his NCIS team would find him; it was only a matter of time. He sighed, knowing that there was no way he was ever going to live this down. Once they got over the adrenalin rush of rescuing him, Sam and Callen would feast on this for weeks, months, if not years to come. He was pretty sure it would start shortly after they came through the door. He could picture the two of them laughing hysterically at his predicament. How Kensi would react, well, he really had nothing to base an expectation of her reaction on.

He was relieved when he heard the key in the lock and Laura entered the room carrying a tray of food. "Oh good, you're awake! Are you hungry sweetheart?" she asked him. He realized he was, he had no idea how long it had been since he had last eaten but he had other, more urgent things on his mind right now. "Could you let me up to use the bathroom Laura? Please?" he tried to keep the whining out his voice.

She put down the tray she was carrying and pulled a gun out of her pocket. "I'll let you up if you promise not to try to hurt or leave me again. I won't kill you, but I can make it very uncomfortable for you. Do we have a deal?" she replied, pointing the gun at him. At this stage, he would agree to pretty much anything, so he nodded his head. She came over to the bed, placed the gun on the night stand close enough at hand that she could get to it before he could make any move on her. She then unlocked the cuffs on his left hand. She moved over to the right side of the bed and repeated the process. He slid off the bed slowly and made his way unsteadily to the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

Once he had taken care of business, he sniffed and realized he could smell himself. He had not taken a shower at LAPD when he had come off his assignment, he had been too eager to get home to his own bathroom and bed. He stepped back out into the bedroom and asked "Can I take a shower? I'm filthy and I smell. I only had time for a quick wash down at LAPD when I came back in from the Loretti case. I could really use the change of clothes too."

She looked at him, measuring his sincerity and then nodded once. "Do you want to eat first or shower?"

"Shower." he replied.

She motioned a go ahead with the gun in her hand and he went back into the bathroom and closed the door. It was only as he started to remove his clothes that he realized he had not thought to bring clean ones in with him. He wondered if he should go back out and get them but he was starting to tire and was hoping the shower would help to clear his head. He picked up his discarded clothes and automatically threw them in the hamper as he normally would at home. When he realized what he had done, he thought "I am really going to go crazy if I don't get out of here soon." Moving to the shower, he turned it up as hot as he could stand it and stepped under the spray. "Damn that feels good." he thought. He picked up the shampoo sitting on the bath shelf, recognizing his brand and shrugged. Once he was clean, he started to feel human again but his mind was still fuzzy.

He turned the temperature to cold, hoping it would help. The cold water hit his heated body and he yelped. A knock came at the bathroom door. "Are you okay in there love?"

"I'm fine!" he yelled back, praying she wouldn't decide to come in to check on him. He didn't think he could deal with that right now. Standing under the cold water, he felt his head begin to clear, the drug was wearing off and the memories were starting to come back. He placed his hands on the wall and leaned into it, letting them come.

He remembered pulling up to the apartment complex and getting out of the car, dying to get inside and decompress. He had heard a car pull up behind him and had tensed, instantly going into fight mode but had then relaxed as he recognized the voice that called out to him. "Marty! Thank goodness, someone I know. I'm hopelessly lost. Can you take a look at this map and point me in the right direction?" He turned and looked into the Civic and had said "Sure, Laura, where are you headed?" She had held up the map and given him an address that was several blocks over from where they were now. He had stuck his head in the passenger window to give her directions. She had looked at him hopelessly and asked if he could mark it out on the map, she was horrible at directions. He had no reason to distrust her, she was LAPD after all. So he had opened the passenger door and slipped inside, hoping to mark the map and get out as quickly as possible. He still had to pick up Monty from Mrs. Hudson, shower, call Kensi and then fall into bed for a cat nap before she got home with dinner. He had taken the map and a pen from her when he felt a jab to his left bicep and had turned to look at her saying "Wha…" That was the last thing he remembered until he had come to that first time.

He stepped out of the shower and began drying off. He pondered his options. He had no weapons and she was now carrying a gun and didn't trust him not to run. He thought about the fact that she seemed to think that they were together and wondered if he could work with that. The more he thought about it, the more he felt that should be the way he played it. If he could convince her that he wasn't a flight risk because he was in love with her and wanted to be here, he had a better chance of getting out of this locked room. Once out, he could hopefully figure out a way to make a break for it.

He wrapped a towel around his waist, making sure it rode low on his hips and stepped out into the bedroom again. He wasn't disappointed in her reaction to his damp and mostly naked body. He pretended to be shy and said "I forgot the clean clothes, I'm sorry if I've embarrassed you." She swallowed hard and told him it was fine. He moved over to the dresser and pulled out some clean underwear, jeans and a t-shirt. Once he had his hands on the jeans, he realized they were, in fact, new and not his own comfortable broken in ones. Somehow that made him feel better although he wasn't quite sure why. He steeled himself and let the towel fall to the floor, keeping his back to her. He pulled on the clean clothes slowly, drawing it out and then turned to her, noting the glazed look in her eyes and the fact that the gun was now pointing at the floor. He had a moment's thought to make a grab for it but realized she was too far away and he was still too unsteady to make it to her before she realized what was going on. He wouldn't put it past her to shoot him. It was time to put Plan B into motion.


	11. Chapter 11: Plan B

Chapter 11: Plan B

Marty stared at Laura, formulating a plan on how he was going to convince her that he loved her and could be trusted. His stomach chose that moment to growl loudly, breaking the stupor Laura had gone into while watching him dress. The gun came up a little and the dazed look left her eyes. "You must be hungry, baby. You haven't eaten in almost three days! I made you breakfast, I hope you like it." she said.

"Three days?" he asked incredulously, "I've been here three days? That's not possible!"

"Well, you slept most of that time silly." she responded, giggling. His stomach growled again. Looking at the forgotten tray of food, he now realized why he was starving. His last meal had been while on assignment and it hadn't been much, nothing more than any homeless man would have been able to scrounge up to eat and that had been so long ago.

It was a simple breakfast of fruit, yogurt and a glass of juice but it was the best thing he'd seen since he had woken up here. He picked up the tray and went over to the bed to sit down and eat. He ate everything on it, he was so hungry. "Thank you Laura. That was delicious!" he smiled his crooked smile at her across the room, trying his best to charm her. She smiled back and watched him. His smile faded as he wondered what she was waiting for. As his eyelids began to droop and he yawned hard enough to crack his jaw, he realized the food had been drugged. Seriously? Again?

"You drugged me? Why Laura? I can't get out of here. You have nothing to fear from me. I wouldn't ever try to hurt you again, you mean too much to me." She moved closer as she watched the drug starting to take effect.

"I need to go to work Marty and I couldn't leave you alone here with nothing to do but try to find a way out. This way, you'll sleep all day. Before you know it, I'll be home and we can be together again."

"Great, soooo looking forward to it." he thought sarcastically in his head. He lay back on the bed and wiggled into a comfortable position. If he was going to sleep, he may as well do it comfortably. Laura came over to the bed, grabbing his hands, handcuffing him to the bed again. He was too far gone to resist her.

She kissed him just before he went under. The last words he heard were "I won't ever let you leave me Marty."

The next time he came to, it was to the wonderful smell of food. He opened his eyes and found Laura sitting on the edge of the bed. He wondered how long she had been there, watching him sleep. He felt his skin crawl but then his attention focused on the fast food bag she had in her hands. This was where the smell was coming from. The bag was from his favorite burger joint. He looked up at her and asked hopefully "Is that for me sweetheart?"

Her eyes widened a bit at his endearment and then she smiled at him. "Do you want to get up and eat? I'll undo the cuffs, same deal as before?" He nodded. She got up and freed his hands.

He sat up carefully and reached for the bag. Pulling out the burger, he opened the wrapper and then hesitated. He had to eat to keep up his strength, to find a way out of this mess. Hoping it wasn't drugged like breakfast had been, he took a bite and waited a bit to see if anything happened. When it didn't, he finished the whole thing in just three bites. He stood and she immediately raised the gun in her right hand.

"I just need to use the bathroom again, is that okay?" he asked her meekly. She nodded and he walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He looked into the mirror and noticed how drawn he looked. He sighed, did what he had to do and paused with his hand on the door. He was going to need to pretend he was undercover and Laura was just a mark he needed to get close to. He worked on getting himself into character. It was a little more difficult than it normally was; he was still operating under the residual effects of whatever drug she had given him this time and he was becoming weak from lack of food. At least he wasn't nauseous this time.

Walking back out to the bedroom, he stopped and looked at her, planning his next move. He noticed that she had let her hair down tonight. He had only ever seen her with it scraped back from her face in a bun or ponytail. He walked over to her slowly, making sure he knew where the gun was at all times. He reached out and stroked her hair gently. "I like what you did with your hair." he said. The words evoked a memory of another time, another blonde woman he was trying to get to do what he wanted by using her feelings for him. At least with Nicole, there had been shared history and genuine, albeit, confused emotions on his side. All he felt for Laura was a mixture of anger and revulsion.

At first she didn't react, didn't seem to know how to. Then she leaned into his hand and said "I'm glad you like it. I did it for you, baby." Encouraged, he leaned in and softly kissed her. When she responded, he tried to deepen the kiss but she pulled back from him. "No! We move forward on my terms, not yours." she said as she pushed him out of her personal space. He watched her carefully, she was the one in control, but she seemed confused. He backed off. He didn't need her agitated while holding a gun on him.

"What do you want to do then?" he asked her. She looked at him blankly. Obviously she had not thought that far ahead. "We can talk, tell each other about ourselves. Get to know each other better." he suggested. She nodded eagerly and he turned to go back to the bed. He sat down and gently patted the space beside him, silently asking her to join him. She moved over and sat down, but not too close. She was bold and in charge when he was drugged and/or chained to the bed, but didn't seem to know how to act when he was free and being kind to her.

He started to talk to her, telling her lies about his childhood. How wonderful his parents had been, how loving his home was. He was pretty sure she didn't have access to information about that time in his life. He did tell her the truth about becoming a lawyer, a cop and then an almost federal agent. That was all common knowledge at LAPD. He didn't want her to catch him in a lie and destroy whatever rapport he was building with her. He encouraged her to tell him about herself and heard about her parents, her upbringing, how she had come to work for Lt. Bates at LAPD. When she spoke about Bates, there seemed to be genuine affection in her voice. She obviously liked and respected the man.

They had talked for several hours when she looked at her watch and told him she needed to get ready for bed as she had to work the next day. She stood and told him "Lie on your back Marty and put your hands over your head."

"Can't you leave me uncuffed tonight? I'm not going anywhere." he begged her.

She hesitated and he felt his hopes rise. "No, not yet. Maybe once we get to know each other better, we can talk about it again." She raised the gun, he sighed and did as she requested. She locked him to the bed and stood looking down at him. "I enjoyed tonight baby, we are going to have so many more just like it!" She was back in charge, he was chained up. She left the room and he stared at the ceiling, wondering what his team was doing to find him.

The next few days followed the same pattern. She would bring him a breakfast that was drugged. At first, he had tried to not eat it but she had simply injected him with the same one she had used the first two times, the one that made him sick. Plus, not eating was weakening him even more. He finally gave in and ate what she brought, just not all of it, hoping to minimize its effects on him. He spent the days drugged and chained to the bed. In the evenings she would return and release him, allowing him normal food and they would talk and make out a little. She would then lock his hands up again when she left for the evening. He would try to rest but his sleep pattern was totally screwed up by the times he spent unconscious from the drugs. Little by little, however, he was getting her to trust him, to get closer to him. She was accepting his passionate kisses more readily. For him, the only way he could kiss her like that, to think about what would happen if she wanted more than just kisses, was to close his eyes and imagine she was his Kensi, the love of his life. He knew she would forgive him for whatever he had to do, that the only thing she wouldn't forgive was for him to not fight, to not come back to her, to give up.

He'd been locked in that room, moving through the same monotonous cycle, for about a week by his best estimate, when he made a critical mistake. Between the drugs and not having enough to eat, he was having a hard time keeping focused. While lying on the bed with Laura, kissing her and letting his hands start to explore her body, he had called her Kensi. She had exploded off the bed, grabbed the ever present gun off the night stand and bashed him in the head with it, knocking him out cold. When he came too, he was chained up again and she was furious. "How could you be thinking about that slut when we're together? You love me not her!" she screamed at him. She went on to call Kensi several other nasty names and he lost it. No one talked about his Kensi like that and he became furious himself. She had abducted him, drugged him, chained him up and he was done. He screamed back at her

"I don't love you Laura! I don't even know you, I don't even like you! Hell, I hate you! You're freaking delusional!" All that earned him was a smash to the other side of his face with the gun.

This time he didn't pass out but he was having a hard time focusing. Great, he probably had yet another concussion. He could hear Laura ranting and raving about not being delusional, that she wasn't like her mother, that Marty DID love her. He was having a hard time following what she was saying, the pain in his head drowning her out. This went on for several minutes before she calmed down. She seemed to have talked herself into believing that Marty hadn't meant any of the things he had said to her. She came over to the side of the bed and touched his right temple where she had hit him with the gun. "I'm sorry I had to that baby, but you brought it on yourself. You should never talk to me like that, it isn't right!" He noticed her hand came away from his face bloody.

The sight of his blood made him furious all over again. "When my team from NCIS finds me, and they WILL, you are going to wish you'd never been born!" he growled at her.

There was a flicker of fear on her face before it was replaced with smugness. "They don't know where you are Marty. They don't even know you're missing! Each agency thinks you're with the other. I've planned it all out, waited for just the right time. I'm smarter than they are!" He stared at her in disbelief. She was smarter than three highly trained federal agents, the wonder twins and Hetty Lange, master of the universe? She really was delusional. He would laugh at her, but he was pretty sure it would only earn him more pain.

He had to come up with a new plan, seeing as Plan A had never gotten off the ground and he had just failed miserably at Plan B. He found himself saying the first thing that came into his head. "They'll know soon enough. I always touch base with Kensi when I'm on assignment with LAPD. We have a system set up. If she doesn't hear from me soon, she'll know something is wrong and alert the others." he lied through his teeth.

"That's against LAPD protocol! You wouldn't do that. You're lying to me!" she yelled at him.

"Nope, no lie. We communicate all the time when I'm away from NCIS. We make a game of it, the rules set up ahead of time."

She looked at him, unsure of what to believe. "I have to think about this. No dinner for you tonight. I want you to lie there and think about what you did." She turned and left the room. He stared up at the ceiling and started thinking through Plan C. Make her so afraid of what his team would do to her when, not if, they found him, that maybe she'd start making mistakes. He was running out of ideas. His head throbbed and he found himself drifting off.


	12. Chapter 12: Back to the Present, Part II

I still don't own NCIS:LA or any of it's characters. I also don't own the Back to the Future movie franchise.

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Chapter 12: Back to the Present, Part II

 _"Meet Laura Adams; voted most likely to be our abductor!" announced Eric._

"Find out everything you can about her Mr. Beale, Ms. Jones. I don't care what databases you need to break into. Even if she doesn't have him, right now she is our best lead to finding Mr. Deeks!" said Hetty. Eric and Nell nodded and turned back to their computers to begin running searches. The sound of a cell phone broke the silence.

"It's Lt. Bates." Kensi said in surprise.

"Why does Bates have your number?" asked Sam.

"Probably from that time Deeks was "fired" by NCIS and went back to LAPD. He called me then to meet with him, to interrogate me about Deeks. He must have kept my number in his phone." she shrugged.

"Well, answer it Ms. Blye, he may have some news for us and we need to update him about Laura Adams." said Hetty.

Kensi answered her phone and put it on speaker so everyone in Ops could hear and participate. "Lt. Bates, you're on speaker with the whole team."

Bates immediately responded with "I've got people looking into who might have used Conroy's office to call Ms. Lange but we haven't had any luck yet. More importantly though, something showed up in my email inbox yesterday that will interest you. I was in meetings and out of the office most of yesterday; otherwise I would have been able to give you this information earlier today. I was just catching up on them now, when I noticed one was from Deeks. Imagine my surprise when I opened it to find his resignation from LAPD, effective immediately! It went on to say he had resigned from NCIS as well and had left California for Mexico. The email was sent yesterday just before the time you received the call about his death."

"What the hell is going on?" barked Sam. "Who sent the email?"

Bates replied "That's what's even more confusing, it was sent from Deeks's official LAPD email account. If we hadn't already spoken this morning when Ms. Lange called to ream me out for the way I supposedly handled notifying NCIS of his death, I might have believed it. I would have been pissed as hell, but there wouldn't have been any red flags to indicate he was in trouble."

Hetty turned to Eric but, before she could say anything, he said "On it! I'll track the IP address of whoever sent that email to him. Lt., can you send that email to me here?" he gave Bates the email address and had it in his inbox in seconds. He worked his magic and then sat back. "Well, at least it's consistent with the way things have been going. The IP address is within LAPD. As I suspected, it leads back to Laura Adams's computer."

"Laura? Why would my admin be sending me emails pretending to be Deeks, saying he's resigning and leaving the country?" Bates sounded confused.

"Let me bring you up to date with what we've found so far. Ms. Adams was seen at Mr. Deeks's apartment the night of the debrief. He got into the car with her and that was the last time he was seen. Is she there now?" asked Hetty.

Bates sighed "No. When I got back from the boat shed, she was gone. She left me a message that she wasn't feeling well, had transferred my phone to one of the other admins and gone home. She has the access necessary to do all of this, the email, inside information that would lend credence to her story about him being dead. I don't understand any of this!"

Hetty responded "None of us do at the moment, Lieutenant."

Eric called their attention to the front of the room. "We have some background on Laura." He turned back to his computer and put some data up on the big screen.

Nell got up to walk the team through it. "Laura Adams is the only child of Samantha and Peter Adams. When Laura was five, her parents divorced and Peter was given sole custody of Laura. Eric is still trying to find out why the father was the one given custody as both were well off and could provide for her. Those records are buried a little deeper. When Laura was seventeen, her father died of a heart attack. She was too old for foster care and apparently there were no other relatives for her to turn to so she moved in with her mother. When she was twenty-three, her mother was in a bad car accident that left her paralyzed from the waist down. Laura ended up taking care of her. Two years ago, Samantha Adams died of a drug overdose. It was ruled a suicide but the case file says that there were strong suspicions that Laura had actually murdered her mother. However, nothing could be proven."

Eric interrupted. "Uh guys, I think we might have an explanation of what's going on. You aren't going to like this." He threw another document up on the screen. "Samantha Adams was diagnosed with Mixed Delusion Disorder, specifically the Grandiose and Erotomanic types. That's why Peter was given custody of Laura. She was deemed an unfit parent and a danger to the child."

Nell took over, "The cause of this psychosis is unknown, but believed by many to be genetic and, therefore, hereditary. There are several types associated with this disorder and people may be diagnosed with one or any combination of them. When someone is diagnosed with more than one type, that's when it's called Mixed. Both types of the disorder Samantha was diagnosed with are exactly what the name implies. Those suffering from Grandiose type think they are more powerful and smarter than those around them. I'm sure you are all familiar with the expression "Delusions of grandeur"? Erotomanic sufferers believe that someone they don't actually know, or don't know well, is in love with them. They often stalk the object of their desire although usually it's a celebrity or some other well-known person. We can't find anything in the system that would indicate that Laura was diagnosed with the same illness, but, based on our current situation, it would seem likely. People with Delusion Disorder do not suffer from hallucinations like Schizophrenics, are able to function fairly well in society and often go undiagnosed."

"So, you're saying you think Deeks was abducted, not due to any current or past case at NCIS or LAPD, but because Laura Adams is in love with him and believes he loves her in return?" asked Sam incredulously. Eric and Nell both nodded.

"Leave it to Deeks to get abducted to be someones sex slave." said Callen. He and Sam exchanged a look and a smirk lifted the corner of Callen's mouth. The two agents knew the situation was serious but couldn't stop the laughter from starting.

"Mr. Hanna, Mr. Callen! Mental illness is nothing to be laughed at; I'm ashamed of you both. Plus, Mr. Deeks is still missing and could be in serious danger from Ms. Adams. We need to concentrate on this and find him!" Hetty admonished the two laughing agents.

They both nodded but a snigger escaped from Sam until he noticed the murderous look on Kensi's face. He sobered immediately and nudged a still grinning Callen, pointing at Kensi with his chin. Callen looked at her and also sobered, remembering that the detective was more to her than just her partner and best friend. "Do you have an address for her Eric?" he asked.

"Yup, got an LA address, just sent it to your smart phones. I'll keep searching though as the last location we had for her car was Santa Monica."

"You three get over there now and see if you can find Ms. Adams and, hopefully, Mr. Deeks. Eric, get a search warrant for her apartment as well as any other property she may own. Have it by the time they get there." ordered Hetty. "Lt., we'll keep you posted, please notify us if Laura shows up there." Bates agreed and told them he would continue to work on things from his end and hung up. Hetty knew he wanted to be in charge of searching for his detective but that he also knew NCIS had better technology and more manpower than LAPD, giving them a better chance at finding their missing man. The three agents ran out the door, feeling hopeful for the first time since they had learned that their friend had supposedly died.

Reaching Laura's apartment, the agents only had to wait a few minutes before the warrant arrived on their smart phones, giving them permission to enter and search it. While they waited, they quickly searched the complex's parking lot on the off chance the Civic was there. As expected, they didn't find it. When the warrant arrived, Kensi picked the door locks and they entered. They split up the rooms, Kensi taking the bedroom, Callen the living room and Sam the kitchen. When Kensi went to enter the bedroom, she stopped short, rendered speechless. There were pictures of Deeks covering every inch of open space on the walls of the room. There were pictures of him alone, with Monty, with her or other members of the team, other friends. "Guys, can you come in here please?" she yelled out to the other two when she could speak. Both came running into the room and stopped short, just as she had. "Jeez!" breathed Callen, "I've never seen anything like this before. It looks like she's been following him for months, if not years. She was pretty good at it too. There are pictures of him with each one of us and none of us caught onto the fact that someone was photographing us. I guess this confirms our suspicions that Laura has Deeks."

"Yeah, but WHERE does she have him? It's been two weeks, she could have him stashed anywhere. And we still don't know why she called us or emailed Bates. As Callen said, if she had just kept quiet, we wouldn't even be looking for him right now. I'm worried that she's starting to breakdown and may hurt him. If she really killed her mother, she's capable of it." Kensi said as she fought back tears. She was frustrated, worried, angry and scared but refused to cry in front of the two men. Sam pulled her into a hug and told her they would find Deeks if they had to tear apart the whole city of Los Angeles. She leaned into him briefly, letting him comfort her for a moment. Then she pulled away and became all business again. "We need to finish searching this place and then see if Eric or Nell have come up with anything else." The men nodded and they went back to their searches.

A short while later, Callen yelled from the living room "Found something!" Sam and Kensi came out of the rooms they were searching to see what it was. "It looks like the deed to a property in Santa Monica under the name Samantha Bradley. Let's have Eric look into it." he said as he dialed Ops and put the phone on speaker.

"Yo." Eric's voice came over the phone.

"Eric, can you look into this property. The first name is Samantha but the last name is Bradley. It might be Laura's mother's maiden name." Callen read him the address off the deed and asked him to call back when he had the information. Meanwhile they would continue to search the apartment for anything else of use.

After several minutes, Eric called him back. "You were right Callen. Samantha Adams's maiden name was Bradley. The property at that address is still listed under her name even though she's been dead for several years and Laura inherited it, along with a good deal of money. I also found some paperwork filed with the city several months ago to make changes to the basement of the house. It looks like she added a bedroom and bath. I pulled up the most recent plans for the house that include the changes and sent them to your smart phones. I'll need to check to see if the warrant covers this property as it's not in Laura's name but she since did inherit it, she owns it. It should be fine but I want to make sure. Hetty says to head over there immediately, the chances are good that the bedroom and bath were added for the specific purpose of housing Deeks. "

Kensi came out of the bedroom holding more pictures that hadn't been posted on the wall. "Guys, this is seriously creepy. These pictures are all of Deeks's bedroom and bath, including ones of his closet and dresser drawers. I found them in the night stand drawer." Callen filled her in on the information Eric had found about the house and the changes that had been made to it. It looked like Laura had been making Deeks a home away from home. They headed out to the SRX and Kensi pointed it towards Santa Monica. She prayed that this was not another dead end, that they would find the man she loved, alive and well.


	13. Chapter 13: Plan C

Chapter 13: Plan C

Deeks spent the time between Laura storming out and when she returned with his breakfast the next morning fleshing out Plan C. He dredged up any memory he could of the amazing things his teammates had accomplished in the five and a half years he had been their Liaison Officer. He would regale Laura with these stories and keep reiterating that this was the team that was looking for him. Let her know that she didn't stand a chance. She should just let him go if she wanted to live.

He heard the door open and watched her walk in, his breakfast in her hands and a smile on her face. Seemingly she had forgotten all about the screaming match they had had yesterday. Well, he was about to remind her. "What the hell do you want?" he snarled at her.

She paused, looking at him with sympathy. "Darling, I know we fought yesterday but I want you to know I forgive you."

"Forgive ME? I don't have anything to be forgiven for!" he yelled at her, trying to get her off balance, worried that it was him that felt off balance. He was banking on the fact that, while she might hurt him, she wasn't going to kill him. For whatever reason, she was acting under the impression that they were in love. Her delusions about their relationship seemed so strong. There was no way, however, that he could go back to pretending he cared about her. The dried blood on the pillow case had been a constant reminder all night of how off the rails she was.

She smiled at him as she said "All couples have fights, my love. I know it's hard to admit when you're wrong but I'm hoping you'll eventually understand what you did and apologize to me." He just stared at her in amazement.

She set the breakfast tray down on the bed, drew the gun from her pocket and placed it on the night stand. "No funny business if you want to eat." she said. She unlocked the handcuffs once more. Sitting up, he moved as far away from her on the bed as he could get. She frowned at him as if she couldn't understand why he wouldn't want to be close to her. Of course, he was starting to get it that she really didn't understand his reactions to her. He reluctantly ate his breakfast, knowing that it would result in the loss of another day to a drug induced sleep but he needed the fuel.

As he started to go under, he said to her "You know, my team has taken down drug lords, terrorist cells and arms dealers, amongst others. They've left an impressive body count behind them. They can kill you with guns, knives, sticks or their bare hands. How do you want to be buried?" She looked at him in confusion. He felt a momentary satisfaction before he fell into darkness.

When he awoke again, she was there, watching him. She started to talk to him about the two of them but he wouldn't have it. Each time she opened her mouth, he started another story about his team taking out a bad guy. The way his team had outwitted them, how they had taken them down and walked away unscathed. He reminded her that this was the fate awaiting her if she didn't let him go. Each time she would start out showing fear or revulsion at the gory details he would provide her, but then she would just seem to shrug it off, commenting on how much better she would be at their jobs. Often when he would talk over her, not listening to anything she had to say, she would get angry with him and not allow him the dinner she had brought. He got weaker each day but he if he was going to go down, he would do so on his terms.

The next few days were more of the same. She would let him up to use the bathroom and then try to lead the conversation back to them but he would talk only about his team. He told her about the human trafficking ring that Lasik had tried to set up, how his team had waltzed in to save him, how they were outnumbered and the only ones to get hurt had been the traffickers who had been shot dead. The time when they were out in the desert with the mercenaries, tracking kidnapped marines. How the mercs had all gone down and the marines brought to safety. He told her how the whole team had gone to Romania and dismantled a decades old mob single handedly.

Each time it took her longer to recover her equilibrium. He kept at it until the night she had slammed out of the room, screaming at him to shut up, to stop lying to her. He watched her go, feeling satisfied. Even if he didn't get out of here, she wasn't getting any satisfaction from him. He passed the night thinking up more ways to let her know the caliber of people who would hunt her down no matter how long it took. There was a time when he didn't think they would have tried all that hard, but things had changed. After Sidorov and Afghanistan, they had more respect for him, plus Kensi would never let it go unless she saw his lifeless body. Even then, his Badass Kensi Blye would spend her life hunting down the person responsible. She had already shown that determination when tracking down her dad's killer. He started to imagine her in the bed with him now, the way she would come to life under his hands when they made love. How responsive to him she was. How he thanked the powers that be every day that she was his and he was hers. He fell asleep thinking about her, happy for the first time in days.

The next day, during dinner time, Laura obviously had something she was dying to tell him. He steadfastly refused to ask her, telling her more stories about his team and how they would find him. She finally burst out "They aren't going to be looking for you Marty! I've fixed it all. Your partner won't even be surprised when you don't check in with her."

He looked at her closely, trying to gauge if she were serious. "What have you done?" he asked.

"I've let Lt. Bates know that you've resigned from LAPD and are on your way to Mexico. As for NCIS, I told them today that you're dead! Now no one will bother us, baby." she replied.

He looked at her in open mouthed astonishment. "NCIS will never believe it without a body." he told her.

"I thought of that, I told you I was smarter than they are. I told them you died two weeks ago, that you were cremated and your ashes scattered over the ocean." she crowed.

"How did you know what my final wishes were?" he whispered.

"Silly, I have access to everything at LAPD; it was in your file."

Marty closed his eyes in despair and then they popped open again. "What happens when NCIS and LAPD compare notes? Don't you think the two stories being different will clue them in?"

She once again donned her smug look, the one he wanted to slap off her face, the one that said she thought she was so much smarter than everyone else. "I made sure that neither one would think to talk to the other. Your boss at NCIS is furious with Bates and he thinks you flaked out and quit on him. She won't want to talk with him ever again and he won't try to track you down to ask why." Marty thought about what she had said, it seemed like it would work and he felt depression close in on him. He was never going to get out of this room and away from this crazed woman. Everything he did just backfired on him. He felt so weak, he wasn't sure he had any fight left in him. He closed his eyes and tuned her out. Angry with him for ignoring her, she cuffed his hands again. He didn't want to give up. He didn't want to disappoint Kensi. Tomorrow was another day, he would keep going and try to get out of this situation until his dying breath. Just not tonight.


	14. Chapter 14: Mine!

Chapter 14: Mine!

Kensi killed the headlights on the SRX and ghosted up to the curb several doors down from the address of the house in Santa Monica. They watched the single story dwelling for a while and saw no movement. The silver Honda Civic was sitting alone in the driveway, in front of a two car garage. They noted the handicap ramps going up to the front door, obviously left over from when Samantha Adams had lived here after being paralyzed.

The agents slid their earwigs into their ears and checked in with Eric. He had signal from all three of them and confirmed that the warrant was good for this house as well. He had also checked the records on the house and there were no alarm or video surveillance records on file. They exited the car silently and headed to the back where they pulled out their NCIS Kevlar vests. Pulling them on, they prepped to enter the house, assuming that it would be a hostile environment. While they were pretty much convinced Laura was acting on her own under the effects of her delusions, they couldn't take the chance that they were wrong and she wasn't alone.

Kensi felt her heart rate increase. She hadn't laid eyes on the man she loved in three weeks. She'd gone from missing him to being devastated that he was dead to being told he was probably alive but in the hands of a very sick woman who may have already gotten away with murder once. Now, with luck, they would be reunited. She fought down her emotions. They needed to be dead on and surgical or someone could get hurt.

Pulling out their guns, they quietly moved up to the front door where they confirmed that there was no off the record alarm system or cameras. Kensi once again used her tools to pick the lock. Slipping through the door, they silently communicated with each other. Callen would go left and clear the rooms on that side of the house, Sam would go right and do the same. Kensi was to stay put and cover their sixes. While the two men moved slowly and carefully from room to room, Kensi noticed a door off the hallway, directly in front of her. Consulting the plans on her phone, she realized this was the door to the basement where Laura was most likely holding Deeks. She tried to stay put but found herself moving towards it without consciously thinking about it.

She quietly turned the handle and the door opened without complaint. She held her gun in front of her, her left hand cupping her right. She tested each step, hoping none of them would creak and give her away. She knew Sam and Callen would be furious with her for going down on her own, but she also knew they would understand why. They had both done things they shouldn't when it was for something or someone that mattered greatly to them.

Reaching the bottom, she stopped to get her bearings. In front of her was another door, this one with a lock. She put her ear up against the door and listened. She could hear a woman's voice; one she assumed belonged to Laura. Another voice joined it, one she would recognize anywhere. Deeks! It sounded like they were arguing. She tried the door knob and found it was unlocked. Slowly, she opened it and let her eyes adjust to the light inside. When she took in the scene in front of her, it was all she could not to just shoot the woman standing with her back to the door. Her Deeks was handcuffed to a bed. She couldn't see him fully yet but at least he was alive.

Pushing the door all the way open, she pointed her gun at Laura Adams and yelled "Federal agent, on your knees!" Laura turned around in shock. She looked over to the night stand where her gun sat. "Don't even think about it! I will shoot you dead where you stand and not have a second thought about it." growled Kensi. Laura put her hands up and asked "How did you find us? I covered our tracks so well. There's no way you were smart enough to figure this out!" Kensi flicked her eyes over to Deeks who just shrugged to let her know this was normal behavior for Laura.

Kensi could hear Sam and Callen coming down the basement stairs. They had been alerted to her actions when she announced herself as a federal agent to Laura. In addition, they had Eric yelling in their ears that Kensi had gone off on her own. They barreled into the room with guns up. "Kens?" asked Callen.

"I'm good, there's no one else down here but her and Deeks." she replied.

"The rest of the house is clear, which we could have told you upstairs if you had waited for us." Callen said. Laura and Kensi stared at each other, neither willing to give in to the other and look away.

"Um, a little help over here Fern?" came Deeks's voice from the bed. Sam and Callen trained their weapons on Laura and Sam told her "We've got this Kensi, go help Deeks."

She lowered her weapon and then stuffed it into her waist band. She gave Laura one last glare and moved over to the bed. Looking at him, taking in his condition, she almost pulled the gun back out and shot Laura where she stood, no matter the consequences. She saw the faded bruises at both his temples, the blood on the pillow case under his head. He looked like he had lost ten pounds, pounds he could ill afford to lose as he was so lean to start with. His pupils were dilated; it was obvious he had been drugged recently. She reached out and stroked his face gently, hardly believing that they had finally found him. His eyes flicked behind her and he shouted "Kens, look out!" Turning she saw Laura heading towards her, furious that she was touching Deeks.

"He loves me, not you! Don't touch him, he belongs to me!" she yelled as she closed in on Kensi. She knew Sam or Callen would shoot Laura before she could do any harm but they were allowing her an opportunity to deal with the woman in her own way.

Kensi's right arm came up from her side and caught Laura in the jaw with an uppercut that dropped the woman like a stone. She looked down at the stunned woman and hissed at her "MINE!" She heard Deeks's laughter from behind her.

"Good to see you sugar bear. God, I missed you! Now that you've marked your territory, would you mind getting the handcuff keys from her right pocket and getting me the hell out of here?" She pulled the keys out of Laura's pocket and went to unlock the cuffs. In the meantime, Callen spoke with Eric and told him to send an ambulance to the address. As expected, Deeks tried to convince them that he was fine and wouldn't need to go to a hospital. Sam finally told him if he could get up and walk upstairs under his own power, they would consider it. He made it half way across the room when his legs gave out and he would have fallen if not for Sam.

"Time to give in graciously, Shaggy. You're going to the hospital and get checked out." Sam laughed, happy to have found his friend alive.

Callen looked up from where he was zip tying Laura's arms behind her back; she wasn't giving him any trouble, still stunned from the blow Kensi had landed on her. "We're glad you're okay Deeks. Now, could you please go a few months next time before getting in trouble again?"


	15. Chapter 15: Kensi's Letter

This is the third version of this chapter. I saved the first one to my thumb drive and it disappeared into a black hole. Not being one to learn from my mistakes, I wrote it again and saved it to the same stupid thumb drive. That one saved and is still sitting there, corrupted and laughing at me. So, here is attempt three, which I saved to my hard drive. I guess I can be taught!

Also, this was supposed to be the last chapter but my better half has requested an epilogue.

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Chapter 15: Kensi's Letter

She lay on her side and watched him sleep. She reached out and pushed a lock of hair off his forehead, not to wake him, but to reassure herself he was really there. She thought back to the moment she had burst through the door at the Santa Monica house. Seeing him handcuffed to that bed, she had almost shot Laura without a thought. Then she remembered what he had said during the Fisk case when they had had her convinced that he had shot an unarmed man. He had been playing her but she knew he had believed his words about knowing when to shoot and when not to, about not becoming another thug with a gun. She had reigned in her anger and followed protocols. Laura was now sitting in a Psych Ward and he was here, with her.

His nose twitched in his sleep and she smiled as she always did when it happened. The smile turned to a frown as she thought about those 48 hours when she had gone from missing him, to grieving for him, to frantically searching for him. It had wound her up so tight that, even now, she was unable to relax enough to sleep through the night. Looking at his beloved face on the pillow next to hers, she thought "Whoever's bed we end up in at the end of the day, this is where he belongs, next to me." Unable to help herself, she reached out once again and ran her fingers lightly over the scruff on his jaw. This time he murmured her name and burrowed deeper into his pillow. She decided to get up so she didn't wake him up with her restlessness. He needed a normal night's sleep. No drugs, no hospital noises to keep him awake.

She slid silently out of the bed and padded out to the living room. Monty looked up at her from his blanket and thumped his tail a few times. She reached down and patted his head. "We're both glad your daddy's home, aren't we boy?" she said softly. He thumped his tail again then laid his head back down and closed his eyes. She sat on the couch but didn't turn the television on. She put her head back and stared at the ceiling, thinking back over the last few days.

Once they had a now conscious Laura zip tied and Deeks was sitting on the bed (after his unsuccessful attempt to prove to Sam that he didn't need to go to the hospital), they had finally had the chance to look around the room he had been held captive in. The pictures that she had found in the night stand now made sense. Laura must have used them to have the contractors make an exact replica of his bedroom and bath, had used them to purchase the accessories and clothes that matched his. The room had eventually made them uncomfortable and they had moved upstairs to wait for LAPD and the ambulance. Sam had half carried Deeks up the stairs and noticed that the younger man had lost weight he could ill afford to. He had made no comment, only felt a growing anger at the woman who had done this to his friend.

While they were waiting, Deeks had recounted the last two weeks of his life to them, starting with how she had conned him into her car and drugged him. They had gotten a chuckle at his aborted Plan A to use the lamp as a weapon. Sam and Callen had studiously avoided looking at Kensi while he was telling them about Plan B. Kensi was not sure how she felt about that particular plan but knew she would have forgiven him anything if it had meant it had gotten him out of here and back to her. They had all puffed up a little when he told them about Plan C, his utter confidence that they would find him. How he had bragged about how good they were and told stories about their exploits. He still had no idea as to why Laura had done this to him. The team had filled him in on Laura's family history of mental illness and the lies she had told both NCIS and LAPD, trying to make sure neither agency would look for him. When the ambulance arrived, Kensi had ridden to the hospital with him, Sam and Callen following in her SRX.

He had spent the next three days in the hospital, hooked up to an IV of saline and antibiotics. He had been dehydrated and malnourished. An MRI had shown no long term effects from the blows to his head but the wound on his left temple hadn't healed right and was infected. The doctor's main concern, however, was whether or not there would be any lingering side effects from the drug cocktail Laura had been feeding him. They had wanted to keep him longer but he had begged to go home. He was only allowed to leave when he agreed to have someone stay with him at all times for the next several days and to immediately come back if he started feeling strange in any way. Kensi had volunteered and Hetty had given her the next three days off to play nursemaid.

Everyone had shown up at one point or another during his stay in the hospital. Sam had brought Michelle and their daughter, Kamran, to visit, Aiden was still away at school. They had never had the chance to tell their kids that "Uncle" Marty was dead so didn't have to try to explain that he really wasn't. The little girl had climbed right up on the bed and patted his cheeks, kissing his temple to "make it all better like mommy and daddy do." Kensi thought he was going to melt right into the bed. The connection he made with any child always amazed her.

Eric and Nell had come in together and Nell had started to cry when she saw him. She had hugged him hard, telling him over and over how glad she was to see him. When they left, she had hugged him again and whispered "Thanks Shaggy!" He was confused as to why she would be thanking him but she was gone before he could ask her. He decided he would just ask her later.

Lt. Bates had stopped by with the news that Laura was being evaluated as to whether she was mentally competent to stand trial. She had been preliminarily diagnosed with the same disorder as her mother. They would probably never fully understand why she had done the things she had, why she had fixated on Deeks. They had agreed that Laura's plans to make sure no one at either agency would discover Deeks was missing was a combination of Bates about to call him back in and Deeks telling her what NCIS would do to her when they found him.

When he was finally released, Kensi had brought him home to her place. Ostensibly it was because it was a little bigger than his but, in reality, she had not been sure how he would react to being in his real bedroom. He would have to go back eventually but he would be stronger by then. She sat up, not wanting to think about this anymore and reached for the remote on the coffee table. That's when she saw the envelope addressed to her in his handwriting. She had been with him pretty much every moment since they had taken him out of that house, so this had to have been here right along, but she didn't remember seeing it before now. She picked it up and opened it. Later she would wonder if she hadn't been so tired and not thinking clearly, would she have waited to talk to him about it first. It wasn't until she had read the first sentence that she realized what this was and then she couldn't stop herself.

My Kensalina,

I'm sorry baby, so very, very sorry. I promised you and, if you're reading this, I broke that promise. You have to know that it was not by choice. I would never have left you, never have let myself get killed if I had had any say in the matter.

I never believed in love at first sight. Hell, I didn't really believe in love. I didn't have the best role models growing up. There was my mom and dad, Ray's mom and dad. I told you about Sylvia, about the restraining order. What I never told you is that we were actually engaged to be married. I didn't love her but we got along well enough together so I proposed. Unfortunately, the closer we got to the wedding, the more I found myself starting to actively dislike her and I broke it off. To say she didn't take it well would be an understatement, hence the paperwork. After that I sort of became a serial dater, my relationships never lasting more than a few weeks or months.

Then you walked into that MMA gym and my whole world shifted. I fought it. I fought it hard, but everywhere I turned, there you were. You were the main reason I accepted the Liaison Officer position. I didn't know at the time that you would end up being my partner. I just wanted to be where I could see you on a regular basis. I know we both had trust issues in the beginning but once we worked those out, I could no longer imagine my life without you in it.

I have so many regrets. Not telling you how I felt sooner, pushing you away when I needed you the most. Stepping back after you returned from Afghanistan, worried that if I acted on my feelings it would ruin what we already had. Once we finally went all in, I wondered why I had been so scared.

I had a picture of our future in my head. You and I, sitting on a porch with a dog at our feet, watching our grandkids play in the yard. I don't know if that sounds corny or not, but it is what it is. You were my everything. I had never known I could be so much in love and so damn happy. No matter how much time we were allowed together, I treasured every moment.

Finally, can you do me two favors, Fern? First, can you find Ray and tell him what happened? Tell him about how our "thing" worked out too. I never did get around to calling him to tell him he was right, I was too busy being happy. Don't let him gloat too much. Secondly, please don't retreat from everyone again! Don't get reckless and do stupid things. I need to know that you will live your life to the fullest even if it's without me. Find someone else, get married, have those kids and grandkids. Remember me but don't mourn me forever.

I loved you with all my heart sugar bear,

Marty

She put the letter down and realized she was crying. He had finally told her he loved her. They had never said the words out loud, had danced around it. She just wished it hadn't been in a letter where he thought he was dead.

"Kens? You ok?" she heard Deeks say sleepily from behind her. Startled, she leapt off the couch and turned to face him, holding his letter in her hand. He looked at it with curiosity.

She could tell when he realized what letter she might be reading that would make her cry. His eyes got big and his mouth opened and closed a couple times. "Oh crap, I never even thought to ask whether Hetty gave out those letters or not!" he finally said. "How am I going to face everyone when I go back to work? Those were never meant to be read if I was still alive!"

"Why is this bothering you so much? It was a beautiful letter and I'm going to keep it forever." she responded.

"They're, um, a little mushy. I told people things I would probably never have said in person. I'm going to have to leave the country!" He jammed his hands into his hair as he always did when he was agitated.

"Drama Queen!"

"But I love you too..."


	16. Chapter 16: In My Life

Chapter 16: In My Life

Deeks leaned back in the booth and put his right arm around Kensi who leaned into him. He looked around the bar, tracking down his friends and co-workers. He'd been back to work a little over three weeks. The day after he'd returned, they'd caught a case involving an international arms dealer and it had taken until today to finally bring him down, although not without the obligatory gun fight. No one on the NCIS team had been hurt so, tonight, they were all out celebrating and winding down. Even Granger had joined them. He and Hetty were playing darts with Sam and Callen. Granger had been in Washington when Deeks had gone missing but he'd been briefed. When he'd returned, he had made it a point to welcome Deeks back and tell him he was glad he was okay. Granger was growing on him. He'd really disliked him at first but he had come to have a grudging respect for the man and, recently, he seemed to have become more human, more likable. Still, he would keep an eye on him.

He glanced down at Kensi and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. She looked up at him questioningly and he said "I love you."

The smile that was so perfect, in his opinion anyway, lit up her face. She whispered back "I love you too." Since she had read his letter they had been more open in telling each other how they felt. He still wasn't happy that everyone had gotten their letters but some good had come of them.

He remembered back to that first day, when he'd been cleared to return to work. He'd been a nervous wreck and Kensi had teased him unmercifully on the ride in. For days she had told him he was worrying about nothing but today, she couldn't resist getting him all worked up.

Hetty had patted him on the arm and said "Welcome back Mr. Deeks!" She had nodded towards the other members of his team who were sitting in the bullpen. "They will be happy that you're back to watch over them in the flesh." They'd shared a smile before she turned and went into her office.

Sam had hugged him as he had when he returned from his leave after being tortured. This time, however, he'd also teased him about Michelle, whispering in his ear "I'm keeping an eye on you Shaggy. Not only could I break you in two with no effort, I could hide the body where no one would ever find it."

He'd laughed at Sam and replied "Good to know Sam. Good to know."

Callen had given him a bro hug and welcomed him back. He'd then smirked at him and asked why Deeks thought he was the one who gets all the girls. Deeks had stammered back that it had only been a joke. When G had started laughing at him, he relaxed. Maybe this wasn't going to be as bad as he thought. Kensi had been right, them finding out that he cared about them was not a bad thing. And, apparently, they cared for him in return.

Then there was Nell and Eric. He watched the two of them out on the dance floor. They were so wrapped up in each other, swaying to the music but not moving much. He'd been relieved to learn that both of them had been grateful for the push he had given Eric. It had also explained the thank you Nell had given him at the hospital. There had been little free time during this case, but the four of them had double dated one night when it had gone cold. They'd had dinner on Fisherman's Wharf and then wandered into an arcade to play some games. He and Eric had stood back while their ladies played skee ball. Both women were so competitive, it had been fun to watch them try to one up each other. They'd had a blast and were going to do it again soon.

He was still LAPD but planned on talking to Callen tomorrow night. He was going over to his house again for some pizza, beer and a review of the mission. He had come to enjoy these strategy meetings and was hoping Callen would approve of him becoming an agent. If he did, then he would talk with Kensi about it and, if she were for it as well, sign the papers that had been sitting in his desk for so long.

The rest of the team wandered back to the booth. Hetty and Granger had won the dart game. Nell and Eric had returned from the dance floor, the music having turned to a faster beat. Granger had brought back another couple pitchers of beer and they all toasted the successful mission. Deeks looked around at the laughing members of his "family" and felt his heart swell with happiness. He thought to himself "Who would have thought I would ever have so many wonderful, caring people in my life."


End file.
